I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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