Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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