Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Still dying that you shit outside
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
