K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
