She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
