I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
