everyone is single if you try hard enough
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
