yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
