ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize