There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
