We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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