i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
