My cat gives me a boner
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
