I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found your dick twin last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
