Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
