ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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