Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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