i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
