After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize