I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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