i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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