Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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