also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
