I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
