Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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