I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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