you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
