He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
BRING THE BAGELS
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
