You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
