Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
