remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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