You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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