C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
