Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
