if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
