Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
