so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
