who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
