I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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