one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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