so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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