Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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