can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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