God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
