She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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