If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize