I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
