Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
