why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
