porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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