Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
