you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
