Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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