i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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