Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
