Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
