This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
