yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
