I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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