Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
