Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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