bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
