Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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