I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ketchup is God's man juice
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize